Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Dating in 2008

II'm really trying here to expand my horizons, be more amenable to meeting men and getting in the dating pool again. Wouldn't you know, the first date I have been on in YEARS turned out to be a flop. First the man (and I use that term only to acknowledge gender) seemed over anxious to meet. What is wrong with talking for a couple of weeks over the phone getting a general feel for the other person. This guy was just impatient, or desperate one... My next clue that I should probably back out came when he seemed to be offended that I wasn't interested in riding in his car. Call me paranoid if you want to, but I ride with very few people and a virtual stranger is definitely not among the few. He insisted we meet at a place I would know how to get to, (the big chicken for the Atlantan's reading this blog) and we could go from there to dine someplace. Uum. No... Just tell me where we are going to dine and what time, I'm a smart, intelligent, always on time, NOT directionally challenged woman. I'll find it.

Fast forward to date night, last night. We agreed to meet at 5:30pm. He calls at 4:30 to see if I had left yet. No, I hadn't. He asked me if I was sure I would make it on time. Yes, I'm sure I'll make it on time. 5:10 he calls back and asked me where I was, I replied that I was about 10 minutes away, and he said that was impossible with traffic. I informed him that I don't "do" traffic and that I would be there by the agreed upon time. All the time I'm getting pissed that he would doubt me, especially when he asked if was I sure I knew where the restaurant was. WTF? I'm not 16... nor prone to getting lost and again, definitely not late. I arrived at 5:20 and of course he was already there and waiting. Dinner was uneventful, conversation was easy I chalked up his insecurity of my ability to arrive on time with his bad experiences with women,or the myth that women can't drive and don't know their way places. I told him over dinner that I could give him the latitudinal and longitudinal coordinates to the restaurant if he wanted me to and lay it out on a grid and triangulate it with restaurants of similar cuisine. (Hey I'm a geocacher, what can I say and no I don't have a GPS mounted in my car.) Let me not belabor the point here, let me get to the good part, when the gender turned into an ass and has thus prompted this blog posting.

He (and I use the term loosely) informs me that he was going to the restroom. He gets up, and I see him talking to the waitress, I assumed he was asking for directions to the facilities but it turns out he was asking for separate checks. Yeah you read right, separate checks, as in he pays for his meal, I pay for mine! He comes back, the waitress comes back and hands us both our checks. Well before I knew it I had called him an ass. I did thank him though but it was definitely a back handed compliment. I thanked him that he proved my family right, they raised me right and to recognize an ass when I saw one. His behind came from a cave, from a family of asses and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree no wonder he's single. I paid my tab and left. My sister said I should have paid for his check and told him to take notes on how it is done.

The more I think about it though the madder I get. Is this the way dating is in 2008? Alright single people, let me hear from you. What motivates you to date? What motivates you to play the dating game? I hate more than anything to be considered dumb, and cannot stand to play games, is dating for me?


Anonymous said...

Wow! It's clear you are angry. How can you avoid this in the future?

AwesomeAfrican said...

All i can say is DAMN !!! What a cheap azz, even if you were not feeling each other a gentleman pays for the date he asked you on. I need to come to ATL to teach some of "these" fools some manners and how ladies should be treated.

Anonymous said...

NO.. this is not how dating goes in 2008 (or in 2006, which is the last time I was dating...)

The gentleman pays unless you have discussed otherwise. If he suggests you ride together and you say "no" he stops the suggestion.... He does not call "Are you there yet?"

Naw - this one is a LOSER. Goodbye now!!!

Will said...

You made some great points. But the thing is, dating is hard but it's not hard. Everyone isn't like that guy you went out with. Not all dates are struggles and they really are some good people out there who you'll be glad you went out with. Just be patient and don't go into it thinking about the previous person. The good guys are there. Just keep your eyes open.