Know that I am NOT happy. I haven't had the same attitude about going to the gym since I stepped on the scale last Wednesday and the weight increased instead of showing a marked decrease. Now let me say from the onset, I'm not interested in the theory that muscles weigh more than fat. That doesn't impress me, especially when I started this weight LOSS journey in July. Notice its called a WEIGHT LOSS journey, not an effort to turn fat into muscle! I can't understand how I can lose inches on my arms, my thighs, waist, abs, and bust and gain weight.
How am I supposed to lose 80 pounds at this rate? Am I never to eat again? I've already started eating food I'm less than impressed with in an effort to LOSE weight. I've already sacrificed the elixir of life - coke toward my goal, and how am I being rewarded? An increase in the number on the scale.
Since I last wrote about my 80 by 40 plan... I actually signed up for a personal trainer. He's great - I mean really great - (I don't know if he reads my blog or not but he really knows his stuff), but maybe I haven't adequately impressed upon him, my desire to LOSE weight. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful just for the time we've spent together, I feel my balance getting better, my stamina is increasing and while I haven't conquered the sweat thing, I can do the exercises and weights much better than when we started. I even walked 6.77 last Saturday, something I would have never dreamed of doing but I am NOT happy to see the scale increase.
Most of all I hate to fail, seeing the numbers on a scale increase, I feel failure in my weight LOSS endeavor. So, this is how one can work out 3+ times a week and still gain weight - this isn't supposed to happen.
Signed,
Frustrated and afraid of failure
Monday, September 21, 2009
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